Welcome to Stage 3

These two weeks have been a straight out of a horror film:  3 surgeries, poked and prodded by needles all day and night, tubes in my throat and nose, nausea, bloating you name it and I’ve probably been through it this week.

Words really can not explain the difficulties of just trying to get healthy in order to go home back to my family and loved ones.

Then today happened...a doctor who I’ve seen ONCE this entire time, comes into my room and says “Well! Looks like we have stage 3 Colon Cancer. Hasn’t spread very much. Could be 2 but we will call it a 3 and we will start chemo as fast as we can.” Not the most heart warming event and presentation by the doctor in the history of medical news but still chilled me to the bones.
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Many times during this brief journey I have cried and doubted myself and often used the phrase “Why me?” First, I attack the physical side of what I could have possibly done different to not have an outcome like this? Should I have went to the doctor more? Should I have listened to my body more? Secondly, I attack my personal life: Am I a good person? Have I done all that I could to help others? Am I a good husband, dad, brother, son...?

To any family member, friend, colleague etc... they will just tell me that is nonsense to think like that, but when your mentally feeling this stress, I don’t care who you are, if you’re not questioning yourself, you are not human.

This is my time to figure out why Colon Cancer will be a blessing and something that altered my life for the better

​But rest assure I do remind myself: I work out regularly, I have a healthy diet and for more than half my life now, I have dedicated myself to living to an ultra healthy lifestyle. As for being a good person, I do think I have gone out of my way to genuinely help others and do the right things. I know I am a good husband and I damn well know I am a great father and I am not ashamed to boast about that. I love my family and will do absolutely anything to protect them. They are my life!

My question now is how can I turn“why me?” into a positive. Why did this happen to me? What am I supposed to do with this to help better myself and the world around me? I have always wanted to do more and be something more, not in a famous way but more in an impactful way. Well, maybe this is my sign. This is my time to figure out why Colon Cancer will be a blessing and something that altered my life for the better.

I wish I could answer my own question but that is for me to live out.
I will stay strong and I will beat this! Until next time, say a prayer for me and let’s continue this journey to health together.

- Denis Noonan